I can kinda hear the blast in my head when they collide.
Sound doesn’t travel in space. You wouldn’t hear a thing.
then how the fuck do you explain all the sounds in star wars checkmate motherfucker
jayhag10 ashlynjackson2252 whatcha know bout it?
Sharp Top at sunrise. Peaks of Otter, Virginia. hikerchad
One of my favorite places.
Seven week old puppies playing with mommy.
mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom!
The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.
you dont have to agree with his policies but you have to admit hes the coolest president weve had ever
1.) Teddy Roosevelt was the youngest president in our nation’s history.
2.) He’s the only person to ever have won the Medal of Honor, AND the Nobel Peace Prize.
3.) One time, three men stole his boat. He tracked them down through the Dakota Badlands, found them, beat the shit out of them, and took all three of them prisoner until the police arrived two days later.
4.) As commissioner of the NYPD, he hired it’s first female to the force, and went undercover to catch corrupt officers. Once, caught one taking a bribe, so he beat him up and threw him in a dumpster before firing him.
5.) He discovered and mapped a new river in the Amazon rainforest.
6.) Before a campaign speech, he was shot in the chest by a would-be assassin. He was hit in the chest, and the bullet lodged in his chest wall. he refused medical attention and gave his speech anyway, which he started by saying, “It takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.”
7.) As President, he would regularly let young soldiers and marines come to the white house to fight him. He also brought in professional boxers to work him out. During one fight with a soldier, he was hit so hard it caused hemorrhaging and a detached retina, leaving him permanently blind in his left eye. Even though his doctor ordered him to quit after that, he didn’t.
8.) He was the first president to fly in an airplane. He took a four minute flight in a plane build by the Wright brothers.
9.) He went skinny dipping in the middle of the Potomac River with the French ambassador.
10.) While hunting in Mississippi, he decided that killing a young, trapped bear was an act fo a coward, and let it go free. A New York toymaker heard the story, created a child’s stuffed toy bear as the “Teddy Bear”.
But Obama read lines for a comedy sketch? Please. He’ll never be as cool as Teddy Roosevelt.
Per the man law code and if not it should be
I applaud this.
In the one place she’d never look.
A dominant suggestion, the gift that keeps on giving ;)
just a few things i’ve collected about tumblr’s view on parenting
Don’t drink and derive.